How to support a pregnant woman

Pregnancy is the joyous beautiful transition of a woman into a mother. If you are reading this you most likely share your world with a mom to be.

Perhaps you are her husband, wife, or friend. Like anyone who is navigating this new world you may be thinking “what in the fuck”?

This beautiful woman you know and love is transforming into an icecream hoarding alien. Vomiting out the car window, laughing in hysterics moments later.

Making a baby is hard work, not the sexy part. The actual growing in your body. Your pregnant women will need all the care you can offer and more!

Here are some helpful tips

  • Become her snack bitch. Always have a variety of snacks on you. Imagine her as a wild hyena. What will happen if you run out of snacks? ( note DO NOT TELL HER ABOUT THE HYENA THING)
  • Do whatever she asks. I am not kidding. However tired or crappy you feel she feels worse. She wants pancakes at 3 am. Do it.
  • Tell her how beautiful she is every day. If you are her partner physical and verbal affection is a must. Hug and kiss her, help her get your sweat pants on.
  • Let her nest. As the big day approaches your baby momma may have a strong desire to clean, bleach the dog, buy 5000 rolls of T.P. Don’t try to use logic. Just say “how can I help”? (Don’t let her bleach the dog)
  • This one should be obvious….don’t say anything about her food indulgences or weight. She is very aware of her orangutan resemblance.
  • Be prepared to reevaluate your entire existence. You thought you were cool, you think she loves you. Suddenly everything you do is wrong. Pregnancy is a great excuse to tear down your loved one until they are a shell of defeat. Just know it’s temporary. The smell of your toothpaste will not always make her sick. It will not always be your fault there is no such thing as cotton candy donuts.

Lastly it’s ok to seek help. Beer hidden in the linen closet is a great way to escape. Drop your pregnant women off at the spa for a day while you rest. Pro tip: leave waffles with the spa staff.

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